Being vulnerable is how we may feel exposed or like someone may see us as faulty or "less than." But, it actually is what will bring someone closer to you and will strengthen your connection with that person.
You may wonder how Shame shows up in your own life, or you may already have a good sense of that. Usually shame is so deeply rooted that only what is noticed on the surface is your first clue. (The first 2 parts of the series will help you understand how it developed in the first place)
Shame is a tricky emotion. I call it insidious because it really creeps in slowly and subtly, almost stealth. It doesn’t rise up quickly like rage, panic, or excitement. It holds on tight just beneath the surface and colors one’s perception of themselves in their world and in their relationships.
What struck me was the attraction of the warm and creamy texture of this delectable food. It made me think about how often mac and cheese serves the function of a comfort food. The kind that will be soothing, calming, nurturing, and just all around feel good. I also started thinking about the need this type of food meets for anyone indulging for emotional reasons.
You will get to a point when you are free from these food and body tortures. An eating disorder is like being in a prison. I know you are stuck there and hate it but you also feel like you can’t live without it. It’s the worst kind of dilemma you can find yourself in.
Allowing change is about breaking out of what we know and allowing something completely different to take shape. We don’t know yet what that will be and what the road will look like, but we begin down the path.
We would expect people who experienced these situations to feel they live in a world of deprivation. That there is no such thing as abundance and that we should hold on to what we have, or should not expect that there is anything more for us out there.
Re-connecting with that natural ability to be in tune with your body’s needs is not simple. The concepts are simple, but putting them into play and going against entrenched patterns of emotional eating or mindless eating takes time.
You know life has gotten extraordinarily busy and fast paced when there is an emerging movement spreading like wildfire to slow down life‘s pace. The Slow Movement is a cultural shift to slow down everything from eating to parenting to traveling.
As you're learning to take care of yourself and move away from unhealthy behaviors, there can be a strange experienceof "now what?" When you've been used to soothing yourself in whatever problematic ways you have chosen (eating, restricting, shopping, caretaking, etc), leaving those behaviors can leave you feeling like you don't quite know yourself or know what to do with yourself.