trauma

Why Your Black & White Thinking Makes Your Anxiety Worse

Why Your Black & White Thinking Makes Your Anxiety Worse

When you approach your life in extremes, it either all works out, or it’s a horrible failure.  But even if it all works out, it’s fleeting and temporary.  You still fall back into the pattern of aiming for the “all” and fearing the “nothing.”  This is an exhausting

The Insidious Nature of Shame and Finding Your Way Out (Part 3)

The Insidious Nature of Shame and Finding Your Way Out (Part 3)

You may wonder how Shame shows up in your own life, or you may already have a good sense of that.  Usually shame is so deeply rooted that only what is noticed on the surface is your first clue. (The first 2 parts of the series will help you understand how it developed in the first place)

The Insidious Nature of Shame and Finding Your Way Out (Part 2)

The Insidious Nature of Shame and Finding Your Way Out (Part 2)

Since shame usually develops slowly over time, from early experiences with caretakers and family dynamics, Shame develops as a sense of self.  

The Insidious Nature of Shame and Finding Your Way Out (Part 1)

The Insidious Nature of Shame and Finding Your Way Out (Part 1)

Shame is a tricky emotion.  I call it insidious because it really creeps in slowly and subtly, almost stealth.  It doesn’t rise up quickly like rage, panic, or excitement.  It holds on tight just beneath the surface and colors one’s perception of themselves in their world and in their relationships. 

Your Voice - Embracing Your True Self

Your Voice - Embracing Your True Self

If I look at a typical week in my work with clients I must comment on someone finding and using their voice several times a week.  But what does that even mean? 

Bananagrams and Allowing Change in Your Life

Bananagrams and Allowing Change in Your Life

Allowing change is about breaking out of what we know and allowing something completely different to take shape.  We don’t know yet what that will be and what the road will look like, but we begin down the path.

The Hour of the Wolf and Late Night Vices

The Hour of the Wolf and Late Night Vices

Do you spend your late evening hours eating, drinking, watching more TV than you’d like, wasting hours on the computer….?  What’s your vice in the late night hours? 

Do you live in a world of Abundance or Deprivation?

Do you live in a world of Abundance or Deprivation?

We would expect people who experienced these situations to feel they live in a world of deprivation. That there is no such thing as abundance and that we should hold on to what we have, or should not expect that there is anything more for us out there.

The Care and Feeding of YOU

The Care and Feeding of YOU

As you're learning to take care of yourself and move away from unhealthy behaviors, there can be a strange experienceof "now what?"  When you've been used to soothing yourself in whatever problematic ways you have chosen (eating, restricting, shopping, caretaking,  etc), leaving those behaviors can leave you feeling like you don't quite know yourself or know what to do with yourself.