I have many roles I juggle and I love them all — mother, wife, psychotherapist/psychoanalyst, supervisor, teacher………and more. And each of these roles has myriad activities I love to do.
Each of these things gives me great pleasure but at times they all come together in such a way that I have too much on my plate. I am used to helping others navigate the “too muchness” of how our lives shape up these days. And I have often talked about having “balance” in life — not letting one thing take up all the space.
Is Balance Where it's at?
Balance is an absolutely ideal state. With balance we would be spending our time and energy spread among the variety of things we have going on in our lives. None of the areas would independently dominate our days, and the more demanding aspects would be balanced by having time shared with more relaxed, down-time.
But how possible and realistic is “balance?” Can all the important things have a place in our lives all the time? Can we limit our passions to leave room for other passions? Can we feel emotionally torn between our various roles? It seems an unattainable ideal.
Going with the Flow
I have started to consider abandoning the ideal of “balance” for a more realistic “going with the flow” approach. This requires trust in self and faith that we will be able to navigate life as it comes. It requires an awareness of our selves and an attunement to our self experience to know how we’re doing and what we need. It requires an ability to say “no” to some things or changing course from time to time. It also requires a good sense of what fulfillment means to each of us rather than a catch all goal of happiness. (Another future post will be abandoning the ideal of “happiness.”)
How do your passions stack up in your life? Are you feeling pulled in too many directions? Have you lost yourself in all the “doings?” Imagine going with the flow and trusting yourself to know what you need as you move along your life journey.
If you'd like to have help with your own journey and finding your flow, let's talk. Give me a call at (626) 836-2023.
Sona DeLurgio, Psy.D, LMFT is a Psychoanalyst and Marriage & Family Therapist in Westlake Village, CA. She loves helping people who have gotten lost in their struggles with food, body, relationships, or trauma to find themselves and discover their freedom to live a true, authentic, and connected life. She can be reached at (626) 836-2023. Or you can learn more at www.DrSonaDeLurgio.com